With my grandfather in the wildness of the Park, my imagination would be lifted by the secret corners of shade and stone into the reflection on the future as a single tale.
The world could know itself as a single endeavour, whose story and development was weighed openly in the justice of existence. Already my simple child soul saw that life can lose everything of its own to know the whole tale of everything that life can be. Through this opening of whole reckoning, many aspects of the middle class life of my upbringing were found to lack love under scrutiny of a living lens.
My grandfather was however an aspect of the same wholeness. His living experience invited me into this secret of surrender and receiving. It was as a wisdom he could transmit across generations.
On another tack, across the road from the park at my first school, mind learnt how number when added to another equalled a new number.
The very simple addition of 2 + 4 to make 6 is the understanding that allows us to reason the world. By finding concepts of how the world is elementally constituted, reason takes us through the adding of concepts into the whole building of existence. Number without relation to experience can hold to its form of description through the exercise of the operation of addition on itself. In this way through number, the reason of how things are put together may be followed as operations on a basic starting resource.
As a child mathematics is the simplicity of a form that is neither object nor operation but in between both. Reason is given a mode of description that relates a story of happening to an elemental base. What a gift is this to have the mind access the reason of things in the language of numbers.
Confusing to me as a child was how these two aspects of accessing experience were put together. For instance how the Rabbi made clear that the ceremony and order of the synagogue captured the content of the religious as if something separately decided. Or how the teacher skirted over the surface of knowledge, to contain within everything that wanted to remains unsaid.
The concrete and measurable demanded their existence over the immeasurable and the Park. One day in the school playground at the age of nearly 8, I calculated for myself a sum, that gave me surface standing in this ludicrous maze of adult status. I dropped into the intellectual fate to redeem wholeness from number, whose result is the paradox to find the Just Sum.